Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Fears

I am slightly half way through training for this years Freedom's Run 10k and am starting to get stuck. Hopefully jotting down my thoughts (fears, motivations, wishes, etc) in this blog will be an outlet for my internal struggles.

This past June I made a commitment to myself to get back into shape in time for a certain race. I made a workout chart, taped it to the a kitchen cabinet, and day by day I 'x out my runs. Thursdays I keep for maintenance days, which was originally 1.5 mi; Tuesdays and Saturdays were my distance runs which started out at 1.5 and increase weekly by .25 mi.

I am now running 2 mi speed intervals on Thursdays and have hit 3 mi on my distance runs. Now that I am half way through training my methods are shifting to get in gear for a 6.2 mi race and am forced to up my workouts. Starting next week Tuesdays will be my maintenance day at 3 mi; Thursdays will be my short run at 2 mi; and Saturdays or Sundays will be my long run - starting at 3 mi and increasing by .5 mi every week.

For some reason being at the 3 mile mark is freaking me out, perhaps because it feels like a much longer run than a 2.5.. which its not. Part of it is that I am not as light as I was last year when running this distance so it IS more of a workout, but to be truthful, I was having these feelings of anxiety last year as well. And on a very regular basis. So I know from past experience that the key to confident running is not in weight loss (although that continues to be one of my goals).

I allow for a lot more flexibility in working out than I did last year, which has led to less panic attacks but also a less toned body. Hopefully I've found a middle ground where I can take my time and not stress myself out.

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